life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize