She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
