your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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