Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
