thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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