Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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