im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
