Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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