Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
