So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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