I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just cropdusted the office
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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