he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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