And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I love you.
Bad choice
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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