Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
