Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize