he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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