I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
