if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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