Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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