Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize