so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
MIDGETS
????
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
