he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
