dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
