FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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