when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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