I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
