i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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