I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
