Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
