I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it's like iHOP with fire
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
