Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
