yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
