He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
