I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize