Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
