If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
