There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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