If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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