My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
