i permit you to call me
Just cropdusted the office
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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