Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
