we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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