CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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