you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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