i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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