I showed him my bush... on skype.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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