What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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