apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
