Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
