I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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