You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
