your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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