i would punch a child for taco bell
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
