I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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