when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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