too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
