lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
