please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
