"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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