Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So. Much. Porn.
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